My inner black woman....no really! She's in there!

So....yes I admit it, I have an inner black woman.

I know, I am white...dang it. I can't even TAN I am so white!!

We joke that we have an African American child...my black pug...he is so cute, I always say he looks like his daddy! (see below pics)

see don't they look alike?

Ok so they don't that much, but you know, genetics are weird! I say this because while there are 2 black men that are a part of my family by marraige and adoption, they are Nigerian and not quite the woman that lives inside me. This is a woman that my children joke about, they hate it when she comes out, she usually starts off with "CHILD....are you sayin what you think I think you are sayin?" or "NO you did NOT just SASS YOUR MOTHA!" then it's over! She's out, sometimes for the WHOLE day. Snappin and sassin right back!

My son hates it! He regularly rolls his eyes at me just to tell me how rediculous it is and how much he hates her. BUT, she gets the job done! I mean DONE! These kids start to MOVE when she is around, so I named her, yes, I named her, one of my dearest oldest friends will laugh when I say her name is TAWANDA! yes the FRIED GREEN TOMATOS TAWANDA!

Tawanda comes out and gets people movin! Gets the dishes DONE, gets the laundry hung up, the floors mopped and all manner of chores and life lessons, or as Kevin Leahman says it "teachable moment" stated.

Ain't NO WAY you ignore an angry black woman, just ask Tyler Perry....he got it right!

So you all just come on ova and get some pie, because I got more tales to tell than you are tall...

I love Tawanda, and I encourage you to find your inner black lady, bet she is FULL of wisdom and sass, everyone needs both of those...now I got to go tan because us white ladys are just buzzing around being boring vats of vanilla yougart, we don't even have a story to tell or a movement to get behind, out civil rights don't get violated very often, none of our leaders were assisnated, and the biggest movement we are behind is pink, so here we are, we have arriven and we have opportunity and time, and should use it to bless others and influence the world to help and create and be, not just sit around complaining because someone stole our parking place! Get behind something unpopular, something that has grass roots, learn something from those women who REALLY struggled....let your kids know that taking out the garbage is NOT suffering....so Get some sass and move your.....self. *wink*

JR

TWO FACED LYING HOSE BEAST....or so that's what I think...PTO drama

Ok ok ok, so I covered cheaters, I covered garage sales, but there is one more thing I would like to say...FACE BOOK...please be smart.

I was a member of the PTO, I was VERY excited about it. I had time, my kids are in school, I'm a mom, I love to volunteer, I was able to make new friends...sounded awesome! I went, signed up for everything I could, got on committees, joined the facebook ranks of mom's who have time and lunch with other moms, it was AWESOME!!

THEN I met the PTO president. I really looked up to her, I was excited to be used and appreciated to be thought of and called upon, what an HONOR! (dummy me)

Then the PTO president starts posting this and that, normal stuff:

"has a busy busy planning week...."

"good workout today then had lunch with the kids! Food was good, waitress sucked...."

"woke up, got ready for church drove there for what I thought to be 30 min. early and the parking lot was full! We forgot to Spring forward. LOL"

"is sick and freaking tired of school cancellations! OMG city of ________, have you ever heard of putting salt down first? What the heck are my tax dollars going toward, crapy roads, no help in storms too many traffic lights and not enough schools! DANG...."

"NO SCHOOL AGAIN...really people what do you think happens in other places when it snows, THEY GO TO SCHOOL! I say they open school for those who want to go and let the rest of the stupid people make it up in June."

"has some new neighbors whos dog is going to die. It craps on my sidewalk, tears crap up in my yard and comes in my garage and takes stuff. I picked up all the crap and took it to their door with a note that said, "here is the crap your damn dog strung all over my property, if I catch it in my yard again or anywhere near my kids, it will disapear...Ive had enough!"
her response to questions of why she did this or stated this publicly: "...I am a county resident so suckishly the laws dont apply here Ive tried! [husband] went over once already and tried to do it the nice way and the guy was an ass! So I took care of it, and they have not said or done anything. You got a dog take care of it dont let it run wild and annoy the rest of the town."

"Spirit Night and fun inflatables for the kids....NO KIDS? grab a seat at the bar $1.89 dom. pints and Happy Hour wings!"

"why is it when i make a mistake the whole world goes crazy and when i dont make the mistake i somehow get the blame! Im tired of being held to a higher standard, we all make mistakes but its enough for me to take the fall for my own i dont need to fall for yours too...."

and the latest in all her very leadership ready, this person is leading us...no kidding...

DARN I went to copy it and she was smart enough to take it down, but she stated that she hated working with someone and that she wanted them to get off her back and other things that were just rediculous, when a friend ask if it was work or friend related she SCREAMED in caps that it was VOLUNTEER....well the only thing she volunteers for is PTO...so now she is just being crass, disgusting, and very UNleaderlike in every possible way.

This person is just yuck, I can't stand that she stands there with her soupy smile and tired look like she hates being the PTO president, yet sits at her "exclusive table" and talks about others behind their backs on FB like no one can read it.

I really want to blow the whistle on her but with 3 kids in that school next year, I don't want them to have it bad because of her. SOOOOO I have no idea what to do about it. CLEARLY she had a concience and took down her comment, but she did post a picture of a woman pulling her hair straight up in frustration she SAYS she got from the PTO website and then said that's how she feels....THEN WHY IS SHE PRESIDENT!?

UGH! I HATE TWO FACED LIARS! This to me is one of the top in my little sphere, and honestly I would rather NOT support the PTO with her at it's helm. She is the FACE of the school, of the parents, and while she is out slogging drinks tonight, making winks at the drunks at her bar...tomorrow she will be handing out flyers for the spring carnival laughing it up with people she hates doing something she hates and is unqualified to be doing...nice.

She said it, she doesn't want to be held to a higher standard, promise, I won't.

JR

CHEATER CHEATER pumkin eater...get a grip

The amazing race, one of my favorite shows on TV. I love it along with the Celebrity Apprentice and my all time fav, Project Runway. However what I don't like is liars.

I teach my kids not to lie, are they going to, yep!

I also choose my battles. Teach them that too.

However I was disturbed today to see that millions of people (ok hundreds...maybe) are upset and up in arms that their children saw 2 grown men (one of which is openly gay we will get to that later) get moved to the front of the plane into First Class seating without paying to get ahead in the game. Well, they followed the rules, did not pay for the upgrade, got ahead, and WON, but they won by 25 minutes not like 5.

PARENTS of CHILDREN...who are acting like children instead of parents want to "sheild their kid's eyes" from such behavior...HUH!?

Here are some issues that these parents are NOT concerned about:

ISSUE 1:What about the lesbians who were out and out RUDE, disgusting, vile creatures (those two not all lesbians, LOL, so don't misquote me) on the show TO that poor girl from Miss Teen USA...THEY were not worth complaining about? This woman VERBALLY ATTACKED someone for choosing the OBVIOUS best choice to yield that particular team. Talk about smart, I was ready for those two crazies to be off the show when it started!! I feel sorry for her partner who was embarassed to say the least about the behavior of the brunette whom I refuse to even NAME in my blog.

ISSUE 2: allowing their children to WATCH shows with openly gay or lesbian people portrayed in them...high moral standards? I think not. Wholesome...come on. This is real people. I teach my children to love ALL people. What in the world is wrong, is "cheating" worse than being gay? I never see picket lines for "cheaters" or "Cheater-Banging". This is upside down, these parents need to pick a side and get on it.

ISSUE 3: why is the cheating subjective? The idea that someone cheated and got away with it is rediculous on a show like Amazing Race where integrity is all but thrown out the window, how about allowing your children to watch a show where the same boys who won are attempting to and threatening physical abuse against a man who quite possibly wet his pants as they attempted to beat him through the plexi glass of the taxi...was that ok? No. Why then keep watching it? Why then not ask CBS to set rules...because that would be boring.

Seriously, people need to get a grip!! This is America, where we are FREE, free to watch whatever we want on TV and then sound like an idiot while stating that we are the smartest ones (hence this blog! LOL) however it would be nice if from time to time, someone would actually be smart about it.

God's people are white, black, Hispanic, gay, Indian, straight, blonde, and even have just one eye. So who are YOU to judge, maybe it is a good learning experience, but get it right, the only ones being cheated are the children who are confused to think that cheating is a worse offense than acting like a fool and embarrassing your mother....

JR

Trick or Treating for Adults...Aye Matee!

As I went out today at the break of dawn (well for me anyway...7am!) I  went out treasure hunting like a pirate! I thought about how much fun it would be to find a this or that, I am always hunting for toys, I just love TOYS!

However I found that in the neighborhood wide gargesales, a phenomenon...ADULTS...RUNNING from house to house GIVING their money to each house as they go, finding games, clothes, trinkets of all sizes and sorts, and acting like children. Like Trick or Treating...EVERY Saturday! Some are smiling, planning lunch, counting their money, some are pretending like they can't speak English to get a better deal, and that is just the buyers!

Everyone has a story, and everyone wants to tell it, as they should. However this is not the forum for every single type of story to be told. I am QUITE aware that the only way to make new connections in your life as a mom is to open your mouth and talk to someone who isn't going to have a load of sassy back talk and can ride most all rides in an amusement park according to the height scale held by a smiling green rabbit before entering the park.

So I feel it is totally understandable why a mom or other person who is otherwise NOT able to have conversation outside her smartphone or facebook status updates should talk to as many people, I can understand, I mean I am not trying to say she shouldn't be friendly but here are some pointers for garagesale sellers...

Garage Sale Seller Rules:
1) Don't guard the stuff you no longer want as if you still wanted it, I and many other people will drive on by.

2) If you don't have the time or energy or care to get stuff out of boxes, don't price it like you hung and tagged it all night....no more than 50cents per item for REAL if it is in a box.

3) Don't leave your stuff outside overnight, that is lazy and if you do, refer back to rule #1

4) Don't put your name brand stuff in a gargesale and then price it like you have it in a consignment shop

5) Don't say no unless it is rediculous to any offers.

   EXAMPLE: a bedroom set of sheets and comforter you have $30 on the tag, you are offered $1, yeah that is a good time to say how about $25 or 20. BUT when you say 25 or 20, other people might be listening so say yes to the next person who says $10 or higher. BUT do not say no. EVER! Aren't you doing this to make money? Saying no is like saying NO to money!

6) Just because you LIVE in a nice neighborhood should not be a good reason to overprice your stuff. Your stuff is just as unwanted as the lady who lives three miles away and just because you don't NEED the money, gives you LESS of a reason to overprice! Be smart, be the one who has a cleaned out garage, sold everything in your garage sale and be done and having lunch outside your garage by 11am.

7) (this is the most important rule....) DO NOT TELL ME THE STORY OF YOUR CRAP....YOU HAVE IT IN YOUR GARAGE SALE...YOU DO NOT WANT IT ANY MORE...if ANYTHING in your garage sale has ANY sentimental value...even if I fall for your line of baloney on how much you loved it, where you got, it or how many storms it lived through....the sentimental value is now DEAD the moment you take money for it and I walk away from you with it...so SHUT UP ALREADY! If you have it in your sale it is FOR SALE and should be priced accordingly. What would YOU WANT to pay for it....not what WOULD you pay for it. Because clearly you already paid full price once, we know you are a sucker.

So basically get over yourself, and last but not least, if you are a seller and you look down on the people that are coming to your sale as if they are roaches, on October 31 when you are trick or treating with your kids remember how much fun you had when you were a kid and all you got was candy...heck...people are lining up outside to GIVE you their MONEY! No candy required!

J.R.